Suddenly, your coffee doesn’t seem strong enough, and you’re seriously considering the merits of hiding under the table. But it doesn’t have to be that way. 

In the fast-paced world of technology, the role of an engineering manager is pivotal to the success of any organization. Engineering managers not only drive technical execution but also play a crucial role in shaping the team's culture, productivity, and innovation. 

As a leader, your ability to effectively develop, mentor, and coach engineering managers reporting to you can significantly impact your team's performance and the broader organization. 

Your first 1:1 with a new engineering manager

The first 1:1 meeting with an engineering manager who reports to you sets the tone for your future working relationship. Think of it as the first date of a professional relationship – no pressure. But unlike a first date, you’re not here to impress; you’re here to build a solid foundation for mutual success. This initial interaction is crucial for establishing trust, understanding, and alignment. 

Here are nine areas to try and hit during that meeting:

1. Relationship building. Start by introducing yourself – share your background, leadership style, and expectations. This not only helps in breaking the ice but also sets the stage for a transparent and open relationship. Ask them about their professional background, current role, and career aspirations. Understanding their journey helps you tailor your leadership to meet their needs. 
   
   Establishing rapport is equally important; discussing personal interests or hobbies can help build a connection beyond work. After all, knowing that your manager also loves sci-fi movies or hiking can go a long way in making the relationship more relatable and human.
    
2. Role clarity. As a senior leader joining the company/team, it’s critical to understand the lay of the land and the scope of the role. Ask them to describe their key responsibilities and learn about the team they manage – the size, skills, and dynamics. Discuss their current projects, challenges, and top priorities to understand what they are focusing on. By aligning on their role and responsibilities, you help prevent any future misunderstandings.
    
3. Expectations. Clearly outline your expectations regarding communication, reporting, and decision-making. This is also the time to understand what they expect from you as their leader and how you can best support them. Discuss performance metrics to ensure that you are aligned on how success will be measured for them and their team. 
    
4. Challenges and support. Explore any obstacles or challenges they face in their role. Ask what support or resources they need from you or the organization to overcome these challenges. It’s important to show that you’re a partner in their success. By offering help proactively, you can build trust and demonstrate that you’re invested in their growth.
    
5. Career development. Discuss their short-term and long-term career goals. Identify areas where they want to grow or develop new skills and establish how and when you will give and receive feedback. Career development is a continuous process, and by addressing it early on, you help them see a clear path forward in their role.
    
6. Team health. Similar to #2 above, this is applicable when you have just joined the company/team. Inquire about the morale and dynamics of the team. Discuss the team’s workload, capacity, and any potential risks to ensure that they are not overwhelmed. It’s your responsibility to ensure that your managers are not only leading effectively but also maintaining the well-being of their teams.
    
7. Communication. Determine the best ways to communicate – whether through email, Slack, or regular meetings – and agree on the frequency and structure of future 1:1 meetings. Reinforce that they can come to you with issues or ideas at any time. Clear communication is key to avoiding misunderstandings and fostering a collaborative environment.
    
8. Alignment on vision. Ensure alignment on the broader company or department goals. Discuss how their team's work aligns with these goals to foster a sense of purpose and direction. 
    
9. Wrap-up. Summarize key takeaways from the discussion and set expectations for what comes next, including any follow-up meetings or actions. This ensures that both of you leave the meeting with a clear understanding of the next steps, preventing any ambiguity.

Using 1:1s to grow a reporting manager

1:1 meetings are not for checking in on tasks; they are a powerful tool for developing your managers. To effectively grow a reporting manager, use these meetings strategically.

1. Identify strengths and skill gaps. Work with your report to identify the skills they need to improve to become more effective leaders. This can involve a candid discussion about their current abilities and where they see themselves needing development. By pinpointing areas for improvement, you can help them focus on building the skills with the most impact.
    
2. Establish an ongoing partnership. Regular 1:1 meetings are essential to provide ongoing support and accountability. This partnership is a two-way street; as you guide them, you also gain insights into how you can better support them and the team.
    
3. Create a skill development plan. Develop a personalized, time-bound skill development plan with clear objectives and timelines. Decide on the regular cadence of your meetings to review progress and adjust the plan as necessary. A structured plan provides a roadmap for growth and ensures commitment.
    
4. Measure success. At the end of each quarter, assess their growth and the impact on the organization. This review process helps in understanding whether the development efforts are translating into tangible results. 

Handling 1:1s with a struggling manager

When a manager is struggling, 1:1 meetings become even more critical. These sessions should focus on providing constructive feedback and supporting them through their challenges.

1. Giving and receiving feedback. Offer actionable feedback that helps them grow and meet their goals. This feedback should be specific, focusing on areas where improvement is needed.
    
2. Leading with emotional intelligence. Encourage self-awareness by reflecting on how their emotions and behaviors impact their team's well-being and productivity. Emotional intelligence is key to effective leadership, especially in challenging situations. By helping them develop this skill, you equip them to handle difficult situations more effectively.
    
3. Coaching their team. Spend time guiding your skip team on how to ask the right questions and find solutions. Coaching is about empowering others to succeed, and by teaching this skill, you help your manager build a stronger, more self-sufficient team.
    
4. Nurturing team well-being. Help them build habits that keep their team focused on what matters most and set boundaries that promote work-life balance. This is essential for maintaining a healthy, motivated, and productive team. 

Providing direction and support outside of 1:1s

As a manager of managers, your role extends beyond just 1:1 meetings. You need to provide coaching, mentoring, leading, and managing through various situations.

1. Coaching. When a direct report needs to make decisions based on intuition, shift into coaching mode. Instead of giving them the answer, ask open-ended questions to guide them toward making the decision themselves. Coaching is a skill that requires practice but is vital when leading senior individuals. It’s about trusting their judgment while providing the guidance they need to make informed decisions.
    
2. Mentoring. When faced with a tricky situation, your direct report may need guidance. Share your experiences and approach to similar problems, and help them develop potential solutions. Mentoring involves a balance of advising and empowering. By sharing your wisdom and experience, you help them navigate complex challenges with confidence.
    
3. Leading. Sometimes, your direct report may need you to take charge of a situation. This is not the time for coaching or mentoring; instead, lead by example. This approach is directive and requires decisive action. This approach shows you are ready to take responsibility and steer the team toward success.
    
4. Managing. If your direct report consistently struggles despite applying coaching, mentoring, and leading techniques, it may be time for direct intervention. Have a candid conversation with clear feedback, without waiting for the next 1:1. This approach should be used sparingly but is necessary in critical situations. 

Final thoughts

The journey of developing engineering managers is both challenging and rewarding. By investing time and effort into nurturing their leadership skills, you are not only enhancing their individual growth but also strengthening the entire organization. 

Great leaders are not born; they are made through continuous learning, mentorship, and support. As you implement the strategies outlined here, you will witness the transformation of your engineering managers into confident and capable leaders who can drive innovation and success.

The engineering managers you develop today will become tomorrow's visionary leaders, shaping your company's future. So embrace this opportunity to make a lasting impact and create a legacy of strong leadership within your team. Because in the end, the true measure of your success as a leader isn’t just in the projects you complete or the goals you achieve, but in the leaders you leave behind.